


my world revolves around you

by angelica_barnes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Drowning, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, M/M, Reincarnation, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 15:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15342984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_barnes/pseuds/angelica_barnes
Summary: zayn and liam meet in every lifetime.they love each other in every lifetime.they don't make it, in every lifetime.except one.





	my world revolves around you

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown

Zayn meets Liam on a dark and stormy night, and the roads are slick with sleet and snow, and it’s raining because it’s just above thirty-two degrees.

He’s wrapped in his black coat over his grey sweatshirt, and he’s still shivering, so he can only imagine how the homeless feel in their tattered tees on the side of the road. He drops more money in their boxes than usual that night.

Zayn walks into Per Say and orders a hot chocolate, and the barista’s name is Liam, it says so on his name tag. And since he’s the only customer and it’s nearly closing time, they just talk until it’s time to leave.

And when they do, it turns out they live in the same direction, so they head that way and are nearing the middle of the crosswalk when the car comes screeching towards them, and Liam’s eyes are shut with crinkles at the corners because he’s laughing so hard and Zayn’s eyes widen.

The car’s going to hit him. It’s going to hit Liam. Beautiful, wonderful, kind, sweet Liam.

Zayn shouts for Liam to get out of the way, but shit, he won’t move fast enough, so Zayn does the only thing he can do and tackles Liam, shoving him out of the road just in time, but then he feels his ribs crack on impact and his skull break as it hits the pavement with a force unknown to the gods.

He hears Liam scream his name, but his vision is blurring and everything sounds distant, so he can’t bear to say a word. Suddenly there’s a hand holding his and someone’s tears are falling on his face; “Zayn,” the person whispers, and Zayn cracks a small smile before everything goes black and the cold seeping into his bones disappears in a flash.

 

 

-

 

Zayn becomes friends with Liam next, in the summertime, at the beach, and they meet there every day to jump off the makeshift pier and splash each other. Zayn thinks it’s heaven, and it’s certainly better than just sitting at home.

Today they’re just lying in the sun, because their swimsuits have mysteriously gone missing (it was probably Niall). Zayn’s just watching him, Liam, the sweet smile on his face and their fingers are tangled between them. Liam points to a cloud, “That one looks like a bunny,” and that’s when Zayn loses it.

“Come on,” he says, hoisting himself up and then pulling Liam with him, “we’re going swimming.”

Liam blinks, an adorable little frown on his face, “My mom’ll kill me.”

Zayn just laughs and kisses Liam’s nose quickly before sprinting towards the water, dragging Liam behind him, and the boys jump into the ocean together, hand in hand, and Liam reaches the surface first, sputtering.

“God, it’s freezing!” He shouts, spitting and then pursing his lips to stop his teeth from chattering, and then he realizes that Zayn isn’t there.

“Zayn!” He yells, whipping his head around, but the boy is nowhere to be seen. “This isn’t funny, Zayn! Come out!”

But the caramel-skinned boy is still out of sight, and Liam frantically dives under, only to see Zayn, sinking deeper and deeper, reaching for him, eyes open but dazed, and blood seeps from a wound on his head, and Liam rushes towards him, losing more breath as he goes down, down.

He stretches his arm as far as he can and grasps Zayn’s fingers, pulling the weak boy to his chest, and he feels himself running nearly out of breath, and he starts to swim up but he can’t go very fast with Zayn’s weight dragging him down.

Liam looks down at the boy leaning against his chest, and Zayn stares back up at him, and that’s when Liam realizes; they’re going to drown together.

“Liam,” Zayn mouths, and with the last of his strength, he pushes Liam to the surface. Liam throws his head above the water, gasping, and then immediately dives back under to save his friend, but Zayn is too far under for Liam to see him now, having disappeared into the darkest waters. He breaks to the surface again and screams, screams for help and for himself and for Zayn.

He screams, he cries, he thrashes for Zayn.

Zayn dies for him.

 

 

-

 

Zayn falls in love with Liam after that, and they’re living together in a small flat that’s not big enough for one person, just trying to pay for university. And neither of them are perfect, because Zayn shuts people out and Liam cuts.

Zayn kisses Liam in the lamplight at eleven p.m., and Liam kisses back with lazy lips and roaming hands, and neither of them have to say a word to know what it means. 

They don’t talk to each other all that often, not to anybody, really, and their time together is spent watching movies at a low volume and sleeping in and drawing pictures of superheroes that look strangely like each other, on the floor with one light on in silence, and it’s good. It’s enough, it’s not too much, and it’s not too little.

But then Zayn stops eating, in fear of becoming too fat for Liam to love him, and soon his ribs are all he can feel when he touches his waist, and Liam cuts himself once for each time Zayn skips a meal or kisses him, and they both end up in misery both with and without each other.

Zayn still cries when he finds Liam in the bathroom with twenty-four bloody cuts on his wrists and thighs and stomach, and the red liquid leaks onto the floor and Liam’s eyes are drooping shut.

“Zaynie,” Liam whispers, trying but unable to lift his hand, and Zayn sobs quietly and gathers his dying lover in his arms. He cradles Liam until the younger boy dies, and his last words are murmurs of “Forgive me” and “I love you” and “Zee”.

Zayn’s heart breaks as the life leaves Liam’s eyes and he goes limp in Zayn’s arms, and Zayn cries as he picks up Liam’s blade and slashes himself everywhere, so much so that his perfect skin becomes a scarred mess of blood and tears. 

When he’s done enough damage, he lies down next to Liam and wraps the boy’s still warm body in his arms, and he feels the tears trickle silently down his cheeks as he waits, and eventually he gives a last lame excuse of a breath, and he shudders as death takes him, whisking him to the sky and off the bathroom floor, away from himself, away from home, away from Liam.

He doesn’t fight.

 

 

-

 

Zayn stays with Liam eventually. 

They meet and become best friends and watch their best friends fall in love before they do it themselves, and they kiss and say I love you and fall asleep in each other’s arms and beds, and it’s quite perfectly wonderful.

And the buzz of the crowd is especially energetic today, and they slap hands and blush at signs, and Liam and Zayn hug too much because that’s not against the rules, kissing is.

But everything goes wrong when the excited screams turn to panicked ones and Zayn catches sight of the gun pointed at him, and he suddenly feels paralyzed, too shocked and scared to move. The man’s hateful eyes bore into him, and he thinks he sees black and red and maybe white dots but he’s not sure.

And then the shot sounds, the click and bang of the bullet being aimed and fired, and he braces himself for the metal to shred his skin and he lets the softest of gasps fall from his lips.

And suddenly someone jumps in front of him and cries out, and Zayn sinks to his knees beside Liam, whose breathing is heavy and labored and he hisses in pain as Zayn’s fingers touch the wound in his side, gushing blood, and Zayn feels the dam break as his tears flood from his eyes in a waterfall of rain, mixing and swirling with the red liquid, and he chokes on his own spit.

Then he screams.

Liam laughs weakly, and then stops abruptly with a cry as the pain of shaking his midsection shoots through him, and Zayn keeps brushing Liam’s sweaty hair out of his face as he kisses him repeatedly, and then the paramedics arrive and Zayn follows him, running and jumping into the ambulance before management can say a word, and he holds Liam’s hand so tightly his knuckles are white as the doctors and nurses try to stop the blood and retrieve the bullet. They’ve sedated Liam, and Zayn is on the verge of a heart attack.

“Baby,” he rasps, “Li, I swear to god, you had better not die on me. You wouldn’t dare.”

He’s not allowed to come when Liam is wheeled into surgery and when he hears the shouts of “We’ve lost him!” he loses it, collapsing into a sobbing mess on the floor, until he hears the steady loud beep of the heart monitor starting up again and he knows they’ve revived him, but he still can’t contain it all and the others hold him as he cries.

Finally a doctor emerges and everything is silent, completely silent, as he takes in the sight of Zayn’s crumpled form on the floor. The raven-haired boy slowly lifts his head and looks up at the standing man, and the doctor is suddenly reminded of why he hates his job sometimes.

“He’s fine,” he says in a whisper, and Zayn starts crying, but he’s smiling so they all know it’s from relief, and he stands on his shaky knees and runs down the hall to the room number he’s been given.

He bursts through the door to see Liam, weak and sleeping, on the bed, and he cries out in joy and rushes over, cupping the younger boy’s face in his hands and kissing him over and over again, and Liam wakes up, smiling up at Zayn’s eyes that shine with tears.

“I’m right here, baby,” he murmurs, “I love you.” And Zayn lies down in the hospital bed next to him and cries into his shoulder, blubbering the same back, and it all just feels like maybe they’re finally going to make it.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this forever ago and just found it and thought "what the hell i'm proud of this" so here ya go! hope you enjoyed! :)


End file.
